Disrupting the Norm with Love

Joanne Lockwood

Tags: human connection, Disrupting the Norm, Truth and Authenticity, Radical Self Acceptance, Breaking Social Conditioning, Facing Grief, Living Your Values, Rejecting Labels, Inclusive Conversations, Challenging Narratives

From Illusions to Authenticity: Unmasking the Lies We Inherit and Tell Ourselves

Heather Egginton explores the transformative impact of radical honesty, self-compassion, and disrupting societal norms to foster genuine human connection, authenticity, and inclusion in both personal and professional spheres.

In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood invites Heather Egginton to unpack the concept of disrupting the norm with love. The conversation explores how embracing truth, trust, and authentic self-connection can forge deeper human bonds amid a disconnected world. Heather and Joanne confront societal expectations, such as the notion that parenthood defines womanhood, and illustrate the subtle but powerful ways that inherited beliefs shape personal identity. They delve into grief, the process of letting go of self-imposed roles and labels, and how truthfulness—not only with others but especially with oneself—leads to real liberation and belonging. The discussion traverses the difficulties of unravelling lifelong narratives, how lies can erode self-worth, and the courage required to challenge the status quo for genuine inclusion.

Heather Egginton is introduced as a disruptor of the norm and a self-described “truth, trust, and love activator.” Passionate about cultivating meaningful connections, Heather’s unique ability lies in bringing strangers together and empowering them to see their intrinsic worth. Drawing from personal experience of leaving the corporate world and championing new narratives for women, Heather demystifies the pressures of conformity and offers actionable pathways towards self-acceptance and deeper community. She is also active in creating inclusive circles, such as her Frequency of Values challenge, encouraging others to identify what truly matters and to build relationships grounded in mutual respect and authenticity.

Joanne and Heather discuss the emotional cost of inauthenticity, the legacy of generational expectations, and how polarisation arises when people dare to stand in their truth. The episode brims with real-life stories—ranging from experiences of grief and career changes to food preferences and personal growth—demonstrating how identity can be positively reconstructed through radical honesty and compassion.

A key takeaway from this episode is that meaningful inclusion emerges when individuals embrace and express their authentic selves, unafraid to disrupt inherited norms. Listeners will come away inspired to confront the narratives that hold them back, to cultivate genuine connections, and to foster environments where everyone can thrive simply by being true to themselves.

Published: 24.07.2025

Recorded: 13.03.2025 Episode Length

Duration: 0:59:08

Shownotes:

AI Extracts and Interpretations
The Inclusion Bites Podcast #168 Disrupting the Norm with Love
Other Links
seechangehappen.co.uk SEE Change Happen: The Inclusive Culture Experts
Inclusion Bites Podcast on YouTube

Clips and Timestamps

Viral Topic: Inherited Self-Deception: “The lies we tell ourselves or inherited from past generations, significant adults in our life that have also gone through the same experience kind of had to try and make themselves be something they’re not just in order to fit in or belong or all of those things.”
— Heather Egginton [00:04:30 → 00:04:46]

Viral Topic: Navigating Identity Loss
“I probably go through the loss, let’s say, of an identity every two or three, three weeks. And what happens with that is the, what I call it, and this is a lot of my work with individuals, private work with individuals, is about getting them to, I guess, navigate and lead themselves through the grief relief, disbelief and belief cycle.”
— Heather Egginton [00:09:47 → 00:10:12]

Viral Topic: The Power of Self-Questioning
“Is this really true for you, right, or is this another reality that you have maybe been witnessing or that you have been led to believe is yours in truth, like is it yours?”
— Heather Egginton [00:16:24 → 00:16:39]

Viral Topic – The Cost of Living a Lie: “My foundation, like now in life is I’d rather have the whole world against me than live a lie, you know, and.”
— Heather Egginton [00:20:45 → 00:20:55]

Viral Topic: The Power of Self-Value: “People can come back home to themselves, all easily remembered.”
— Heather Egginton [00:22:02 → 00:22:06]

Finding Your Place in the World: “it’s just recognising where do we fit, right? Why. Why we were put on this earth”
— Heather Egginton [00:33:40 → 00:33:47]

Viral Topic: The Energy You Surround Yourself With
Quote: “And also, I believe it’s not necessarily you become the sum of the people you are around, what you become is the sum of the energy that you sit around, right?”
— Heather Egginton [00:34:13 → 00:34:15]

Viral Topic: The Friends We Attract Reflect Our Values: “We are all magnetic. It’s just what we are we attracting. Do you know what I mean?”
— Heather Egginton [00:38:25 → 00:38:31]

From Loneliness to Connection: “It’s about going from the lonely couch, right? To fully connected. That’s what it’s about because I was the one that was sat on the couch, lonely, never had any friends, didn’t know anyone, Always thought there’s something wrong with me. Just wished that I could be normal. I was one of those people.”
— Heather Egginton [00:39:26 → 00:39:45]

The Power of Authenticity: “Trying to keep up a way of being right that wasn’t truly me.”
— Heather Egginton [00:54:14 → 00:54:18]

Definition of Terms Used

What is Radical Responsibility?

Definition: Radical responsibility refers to the practice of fully accepting accountability for one’s thoughts, beliefs, choices, and actions, particularly concerning self-truth and authenticity.
Relevance: In the context of inclusion and personal development, radical responsibility is essential for fostering environments where individuals can examine inherited beliefs, shed untruths, and operate authentically within teams or communities.
Examples: A person who recognises their self-limiting beliefs about career success passed down from family, and deliberately chooses to challenge and replace them to align with their true values.
Related Terms: Self-leadership, Authenticity, Self-awareness, Personal Accountability
Common Misconceptions: Many assume radical responsibility means blaming oneself for everything or ignoring systemic barriers, when in fact it is about acknowledging one’s role whilst also recognising external influences and inherited narratives.

What is the Grief–Relief–Disbelief–Belief Cycle?

Definition: The grief–relief–disbelief–belief cycle describes the emotional process individuals experience when undergoing significant change, particularly after the loss of a relationship, identity, or life role.
Relevance: Understanding this cycle helps organisations and teams support colleagues during transitions such as bereavement, retirement, or redundancy—crucial for inclusive cultures promoting wellbeing and mental health.
Examples: Following the loss of a loved one, a person may first feel disbelief, then experience grief, later find some relief, and ultimately reach a new belief or acceptance about their ongoing life identity.
Related Terms: Change management, Bereavement process, Kubler-Ross Model, Emotional Intelligence
Common Misconceptions: The stages are not necessarily linear or uniform, and individuals may revisit phases multiple times or experience them in different orders.

What is the Five Whys Technique?

Definition: The Five Whys Technique is a problem-solving method involving repeatedly asking “why” (typically five times) to uncover the root cause of an issue, belief, or motivation, often employed for self-inquiry and business analysis.
Relevance: In inclusion work and coaching, this technique helps individuals and organisations move beyond surface-level justifications to reveal deeper truths about behaviour, workplace culture, or personal aspirations, leading to more meaningful change.
Examples: When someone states they wish to be promoted, their coach may ask why several times—each answer digging deeper until, for example, it is revealed the underlying motive is a desire for validation, not merely financial reward.
Related Terms: Root Cause Analysis, Socratic Questioning, Reflective Practice, Continuous Improvement
Common Misconceptions: It is not limited to five repetitions, nor is it only for mechanical problems; it functions as a versatile tool for personal growth and organisational learning.

What is Energetic Calibration?

Definition: Energetic calibration refers to aligning one’s personal energy, presence, or ‘vibration’ with environments or communities that resonate with one’s true values and aspirations.
Relevance: Emphasised in leadership and inclusion fields, energetic calibration encourages individuals to seek out or cultivate communities and environments that nurture belonging, psychological safety, and authentic engagement.
Examples: Choosing to work or network within groups that foster deep, meaningful connections and uphold one’s values, rather than remaining in environments where one feels drained or undervalued.
Related Terms: Psychological Safety, Cultural Alignment, Group Dynamics, Social Belonging
Common Misconceptions: Often misconstrued as mystical or purely spiritual, energetic calibration in the inclusion context concerns interpersonal compatibility, psychological alignment, and group synergy.

What is the Frequency of Values Challenge?

Definition: The Frequency of Values Challenge is a community-based initiative or social experiment encouraging participants to identify, embody, and connect with others who share their core values, promoting genuine relationships and a sense of belonging.
Relevance: This concept provides a structured pathway for those feeling isolated or disconnected to foster inclusive networks, particularly within new communities, by prioritising shared values and reciprocal engagement.
Examples: A LinkedIn or Facebook group where individuals daily share and reflect on what matters most to them, connect over common ground, and practise reciprocating support and connection.
Related Terms: Community Building, Values-Based Networking, Social Capital, Belonging Initiatives
Common Misconceptions: Not simply an online challenge or fleeting trend, it is designed for lasting transformation of one’s social circles and internal sense of connection.

FAQ: Key Concepts and Definitions from This Episode

What is Radical Responsibility? – The practice of embracing full accountability for one’s beliefs, actions, and self-truth, crucial for personal growth and authentic inclusion.
What is the Grief–Relief–Disbelief–Belief Cycle? – An emotional framework describing the stages individuals experience amid significant loss or identity change.
What is the Five Whys Technique? – A method of inquiry involving repeated questioning to discover the root cause of beliefs, motivations, or organisational issues.
What is Energetic Calibration? – The act of consciously aligning one’s presence or ‘energy’ with environments and people that reflect and support one’s core values.
What is the Frequency of Values Challenge? – A structured community practice for building authentic connections and inclusive spaces through shared values and reciprocal relationships.