Men Beyond Survival

Joanne Lockwood

Tags: societal change, Community Support, Inclusive Conversations, Men’s Mental Health, Male Identity, Bushcraft Therapy, Outdoor Wellbeing, Intergenerational Learning, Emotional Resilience, Male Vulnerability

What Men Need to Thrive in Today’s Changing Society

Tom Gold explores the complexities of modern masculinity, the importance of outdoor connection, and the subtle yet profound ways men can support each other and find belonging beyond performative expectations.

In this episode of The Inclusion Bites Podcast, Joanne Lockwood explores the complex landscape of men’s wellbeing and identity with Tom Gold, a bushcraft instructor and life coach. The conversation moves beyond the stereotypes often associated with men—challenging the “man code” and scrutinising the societal expectation that men should always be outwardly strong while keeping inner struggles hidden. Joanne and Tom discuss how nature, risk-taking, and community can catalyse real growth, and why providing spaces where men can simply “be” without the pressure to share or fix is vital in today’s world.

Tom Gold has spent a lifetime immersed in the outdoors, drawing early inspiration from his adventurous childhood with his father. Now based in rural Scotland, Tom works with men of all backgrounds, especially those in recovery, helping them reconnect with their innate resilience through practical wilderness skills. His approach goes beyond performative conversation, focusing on creating experiences where men can gain confidence, purpose, and—crucially—belonging, whether through splitting wood, making campfires, or simply being present around the flames. His work highlights the importance of practical empowerment and community for men who may feel sidelined by modern conversations around inclusion.

Joanne and Tom candidly address the shifting dynamics of masculinity, the loneliness some men experience, and the risk that mainstream diversity and inclusion work can leave certain groups behind. The episode delves into how the lack of meaningful male community, combined with performative dialogues about emotion, can drive young men towards unhealthy influences or negative group identities. Joanne raises the reality that men don’t always want to talk but still crave a sense of group solidarity and support, to which Tom’s bushcraft-based approach offers a refreshingly inclusive solution.

A key takeaway from this episode is that fostering belonging among men requires understanding, not stereotypes. By creating honest, practical, and inclusive spaces—rather than pushing only for open sharing—everyone can contribute to a more supportive and integrated society. Tune in to gain new perspectives on vulnerability, identity, and how real inclusion means ensuring no one feels left out of the conversation.

Published: 16.04.2026

Recorded: 17.12.2025 Episode Length

Duration: 1:00:51

Shownotes:

AI Extracts and Interpretations
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Other Links
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Clips and Timestamps

Childhood Adventure Clubs: “And my old man had this idea of forming a group with the boys and the dads in the summer holidays. And it was called the UDF Club, which stood for Utterly devoid of fear, which was something that came out of, I discovered later, the Eagle comic, long since defunct, which dad had read as a boy.”
— Tom Gold [00:04:30 → 00:04:50]

The Power of Outdoor Adventures: “the idea of the, you know, weekend or Saturday morning adventure, I think it’s still eminently doable… it builds really, really powerful memories that you carry forward with you.”
— Tom Gold [00:06:42 → 00:06:50]

The Importance of Risk in Childhood Development: “If you’ve never sort of felt your knees shaking as you sort of crawl across a very narrow object that’s very high up then. Yeah, I think it’s going to be a lot harder to make those judgement calls later.”
— Tom Gold [00:10:32 → 00:10:45]

Viral Topic: The Hidden Cost of the Man Code: “And the reason that we still do this is, firstly, it’s really, really easy. It’s not difficult to follow the Man Code and it certainly isn’t difficult to, you know, follow that popular trope of being a guy who doesn’t talk about stuff and, you know, doesn’t deal well emotionally. And it’s been tremendously successful in the past. You look at some of the history’s great men. They were, you know, often appear outwardly as very emotionally closed off people. History now tells us that a lot of them did have some sort of significant mental health problems going on.”
— Tom Gold [00:23:17 → 00:23:55]

Hidden Struggles Behind Historical Heroes: “But the Man Code allowed them to navigate that and achieve greatness at the same time. And this is what we remember them for and this is, you know, in a way, why we use them. But it always makes me think when I read about these guys, and they do, because they love sort of true life adventure storeys, what else they could have achieved if they weren’t dealing with all the sort of the demons in their head, if they weren’t constantly suppressing those, if they had an outlet for them, if they were able to, you know, achieve a little bit more emotional coherence, sometimes called vulnerability.”
— Tom Gold [00:24:08 → 00:24:42]

Viral Topic: The Social Origins of Fire
Quote: “The first real spin off benefit of that discovery was social because for the first time our ancient ancestors had a reason to come together when it was cold and it was dark.”
— Tom Gold [00:26:19 → 00:26:31]

Viral Topic: Outdoor Skills and Recovery
Quote: “Their recovery journeys from drugs and alcohol and the ability to create a warm, dry outdoor space out of some very, very ordinary, cheap items gives them another place to go when it gets difficult. That isn’t, I don’t know, the betting shop, their ex wife’s place or the pub. You know, it’s empowering them with this, you know, knowledge and this idea that, wait a minute, I can take myself away from all of this if I want to. There is a place I can go.”
— Tom Gold [00:32:10 → 00:32:38]

Viral Topic: The Loneliness Epidemic Among Men: “The stats tell us that, you know, our dads had a lot more close male friends than we do in this generation. And that’s, you know, numbers only getting smaller. The number of men who actually say they’ve got close friends in the first place. You know, I can’t remember them all here, the stats, but it’s, it’s not great. And it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s still dwindling.”
— Tom Gold [00:43:41 → 00:44:01]

Viral Topic: The Irony of Stereotypes in National Symbols
Quote: “Is it somehow ironic that they weren’t eating chips? That the assumption that because they’re wearing the St. St. George’s Cross, they should be so overtly racist as to not even wish to eat anything made by a person of foreign descent or food that, you know, originates in another culture. I’ve never heard anything so utterly ridiculous.”
— Tom Gold [00:47:00 → 00:47:25]

Viral Topic: The Modern Workplace and Young Men
“But it would be a brave man to put his hand up and say, do you know what? I don’t want anything to do with this. That’s going to end badly.”
— Tom Gold [00:50:45 → 00:50:55]

Definition of Terms Used

What is the Man Code?

Definition: The Man Code refers to a set of informal, unwritten rules or expectations dictating that men should project outward strength at all times, keep emotions hidden, always claim to be fine, and avoid displaying vulnerability.
Relevance: This concept underpins common barriers to male mental health support and deeply influences how men express themselves and seek connection, particularly impacting their willingness to engage in conversations about wellbeing.
Examples: A man refusing to express sadness or ask for help even when struggling, instead saying “I’m fine” and suppressing his true feelings.
Related Terms: Toxic Masculinity, Emotional Suppression, Stoicism, Male Stereotypes
Common Misconceptions: Many assume the Man Code is merely about being ‘tough’ or unemotional, when in reality it is a social survival mechanism adopted to navigate expectations, sometimes at great personal and relational cost.

What is Performative Wellbeing?

Definition: Performative wellbeing is the act of outwardly displaying or enacting good mental health, self-care, or positivity, often as a social expectation, rather than as a reflection of genuine internal experience or need.
Relevance: The pressure for men to “speak up” or “be vulnerable” can itself become another performance, masking true emotional states instead of fostering authentic wellbeing or belonging.
Examples: Participating in workplace mental health weeks or men’s groups without genuinely engaging, simply to comply with expectations or because it is deemed “the right thing to do”.
Related Terms: Emotional Labour, Social Masking, Tokenism, Workplace Wellness Programmes
Common Misconceptions: It is often believed that all visible engagement with wellbeing initiatives reflects real progress; in reality, performative acts can exist alongside, or instead of, true personal growth.

What are Rights of Access to the Outdoors?

Definition: Rights of access to the outdoors in Scotland refer to legal entitlements allowing individuals to cross and utilise most lands, water bodies, and countryside areas for recreation, education, or exploration, provided activities are conducted responsibly.
Relevance: These rights are fundamental for initiatives that use nature and bushcraft as tools for wellbeing and personal development, enabling inclusive, low-barrier group activities and outdoor therapy sessions.
Examples: A men’s group organising a fire-making weekend in Scottish woodland without complicated permissions, as long as they respect the land and follow the Scottish Outdoor Access Code.
Related Terms: Land Reform (Scotland) Act 2003, Public Right of Way, Countryside Access, Allemansrätten (Swedish right of public access)
Common Misconceptions: Some believe outdoor access is completely unrestricted; in fact, it is subject to certain rules (e.g., no damage, respect privacy/livelihoods, avoid certain protected areas).

What are Knife Crime Outreach Programmes?

Definition: Knife crime outreach programmes are targeted community-based interventions designed to address and reduce incidents of knife-related violence—typically among young people—by fostering education, trust-building, and preventative support.
Relevance: These programmes respond to the complex social and emotional causes of violence, provide alternatives to crime, and offer support to those at risk, often by involving former perpetrators or local leaders for authentic engagement.
Examples: Youth organisations in Glasgow working directly with teenagers in areas like Easterhouse, offering safe spaces, mentoring, and activities to divert from knife culture.
Related Terms: Violence Reduction Unit, Community Policing, Youth Work, Peer-Led Intervention
Common Misconceptions: It is often assumed these programmes focus solely on punishment or security; in reality, their core is relationship-building and addressing the root causes of violence.

What is the Utterly Devoid of Fear (UDF) Club?

Definition: The Utterly Devoid of Fear (UDF) Club, in this episode, was a playful, informal group formed for children and their fathers, designed to promote adventurous spirit, resilience, and outdoor skills by undertaking daring activities together.
Relevance: This concept encapsulates the value of calculated risk-taking, intergenerational bonding, and experiential learning in developing children’s confidence, trust, and self-reliance, especially for boys and their positive male role models.
Examples: Organising summer expeditions involving bonfires, abseiling, and exploring dangerous places—all with attentive (though discreet) adult supervision.
Related Terms: Adventure Therapy, Bushcraft, Father-Son Bonding, Rite of Passage
Common Misconceptions: Some may dismiss such clubs as reckless or unsafe, when, in fact, they offer structured opportunities to navigate risk and learn about personal limits and safety through real-world experience.